I’ve Suffered From A Toxic, Harmful Relationship

It’s not bad to be aware that you are in a toxic relationship. However, it is negative not to want to change this situation out of fear or dependence. We all deserve to be unconditionally happy.

I suffered from a toxic, harmful relationship that canceled me out as a person. All that was good in me was destroyed by it. The situation was so toxic that I thought it was my fault.

Being in a toxic harmful relationship is often compared to being in a drug addiction. You know that the drug is bad for you, that there is nothing positive in it, but you still use it.

It would be hypocritical to acknowledge that such a relationship can be broken easily. That’s not the case. It’s not days or months … sometimes it  takes years before you can open your eyes, forgive yourself, and take a step forward. 

When that moment comes, you realize that it wasn’t as difficult as you thought it was. But something in you has forced you to maintain this uncomfortable situation.

A toxic relationship completely annuls you

There is no one way to reduce toxic relationships; they come in a variety of forms. Here are a few examples:

• Dependency: The person cannot live without a partner and is therefore always looking for a partner. Alone she feels empty and sees no meaning in life.
• Abuse:  One of the partners suffers from physical or psychological abuse from the other. The victim believes that it is their own fault.
• Lies as a basis: A relationship cannot exist without trust, unless one of the partners is not aware of the lies (or accepts them).
• Idealization: sooner or later the idealized person falls to the ground, disappointment, disillusionment and disenchantment ensue.

• Absorption: People who absorb others are also known as “energy thieves”,  they take away everything from you and when nothing is left they leave you. 

In all of these types of toxic relationships, you are the victim. You break apart, you destroy yourself and fall apart inside until you no longer exist. This is how the other person can manipulate you.

You don’t know who you are anymore,  you become what the other person expects of you. You have forgotten yourself, you have lost respect for yourself. The time has come to change that!

You can escape a toxic relationship

That’s right: you can escape this situation. The problem with this, however, is that the change is neither drastic nor immediate. It takes time.

You have lived under the yoke of someone you have loved for a long time. This life dynamic of a harmful relationship has left a deep mark on you.

To get out of it again is difficult, but not impossible. You just have to become aware of different things.

The first thing you need to know is that you are in a toxic relationship; you feel uncomfortable, see with your own eyes how your partner lies to you, manipulates you and knows that you are dependent on him …

Once you have this knowledge, which is not as easy as it seems, the time has come to realize that you need to change this situation.

You don’t know when that will happen because even if you try, you keep falling into the same rut.

Your subconscious now knows that this situation cannot always last. In the not too distant future it will be over.

But that’s not all. You have to pave your way with your attitude  and no longer accept those things that you have tolerated up to now. Take your life into your own hands again!

The path to hope from a harmful relationship

At first I mentioned that I had suffered from a toxic and harmful relationship myself. Many others also suffer from it on a daily basis.

A relationship that was based on dependency meant that all my happiness, joie de vivre, and motivation were in the hands of another person.

The bond with my partner was a vicious cycle full of negativity. There was no exit, even if I saw a glimmer of hope every now and then.

For a long time I was under the yoke of fear, desperate because I wanted to do something about it, because from a certain distance I could clearly see what was going on.

Time was my best help. On the day when I could least imagine this, it was all over. I got up in the morning and breathed fresh new air.

The ordeal in which I was caught was over.

Don’t be afraid of being in a toxic relationship. Just as you make other mistakes, you can find yourself in this situation through no fault of your own.

Be aware of what is happening and try to learn from it. Do not be in a hurry, every teaching takes time. At some point you will open your eyes and start all over again.