The Wendy Syndrome

Women are mostly affected by it and suffer from a very low self-esteem.

If the Wendy syndrome is described in psychology, many believe that it is typical of older generations and is not as common nowadays. But this is far from the reality.

It usually affects women who have very low self-esteem. Boundaries and a healthy balance are very important in a relationship.

Loving your partner, parents or friends does not mean that your needs and personal development should be neglected. Learn more about Wendy Syndrome in this post  .

Wendy’s Syndrome, perfect for Peter Pan

Wendy Darling and Peter Pan  are the protagonists of the well-known story by James M. Barrie. Peter refuses to grow, he doesn’t want responsibility, stability or maturity, but a life full of adventure.

So he embodies all those immature people who are unable to take responsibility for their own life or that of others.

However, already on the first day, Wendy makes sure that Peter Pan does not lose his shadow, she cleans his house, cares for the lost children and sacrifices everything, because that’s how she feels happy.

What are the characteristics of people with Wendy Syndrome?

• They have a need to over-mother and care for others as they think they will make them so happy.
• They put the needs of others in the foreground and sacrifice themselves.  In doing so, there are many things that are important for those affected.
• In the sacrifice they see a proof of love, this is done voluntarily, nobody forces those affected to do so. Most Wendy women find immature life partners with a Peter Pan character who like to be cared for and do not want to be responsible.

• People with Wendy syndrome usually fear 2 things: being no longer needed or being rejected and their loneliness. The very thought of not being able to mother anyone is horrific because that’s the only way they feel useful.
• But even if they seem so happy, there are usually situations in which they  feel manipulated and realize that they are giving too much without receiving anything. You feel frustrated and degraded. From this moment on, problems arise and often also depression.

That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look after your partner or loved one or take care of them. The life partner and the family, especially the children, are an important part of our life, our identity and an indispensable support.

Find the balance

However, there must be a balance. Therefore, the following points should be observed:

• Never forget the importance of personal development, privacy, your hobbies, your values, and most importantly, your self-esteem. When you sacrifice everything, the moment comes when you will feel empty, dissatisfied, frustrated, and sad.  You can no longer serve the others because you feel unhappy.
• If you are proud of yourself and have good self-esteem and the necessary independence, you can give your loved ones positive energy and emotions. 

• Take care of your life partner, but do not forget about yourself. In a relationship there cannot be losers, only winners. If you lose your strength and strength because you only care about others and not yourself, those you love will also suffer. Nourish your happiness so that you can pass it on to others. It is worth it!